Monday, March 18, 2013

15/365...Afternoon Light

A few days back I posted a picture of my view of my sweet little Sleeping Beauty.  Last winter was a rough one with the baby monkey.  Lots of screaming.  Difficulty sleeping.  General unhappiness and clinginess to Mommy.  We finally figured out she was teething her 2 year molars and the teething was causing some pretty nasty ear issues.  In the midst of it all I finally threw all the parenting books to the wind and went back to rocking her to sleep for every. single. nap.  I remember sitting in that rocking chair, the very one where I sat to hold, comfort, nurse, and sleep all three of my baby monkeys, and stopped.  Stopped worrying.  Stopped fretting.  Stopped running.  And I sat.  I took in the moment.  The evenness of her heavy breathing.  The drool dribbling onto my shoulder.  How her eyes round and soften when she relaxes them in sleep.  Her smell.  The heat of her sweaty little head on my chest.  And I left that moment refreshed.  Refreshed because I chose, in that moment, to fully embrace the here.

After a time I was able to lay her back down in her crib fully awake, but still had to stay in the chair, right by her crib, until she drifted off.    I remember sitting in that chair with a book and drinking in the quiet and wondering, "Why have I not done this before now?"

That was a year ago.  She has now moved to a big girl bed.  I have traded the rocking chair for the other monkey's bed.  She is now completely capable of getting herself to sleep.  But now I am the one not ready to break the habit.

This is the view from my resting place.  On this particular day, before I got up, I noticed the warm glow on the hardwoods and felt grateful.  Grateful for sun.  Grateful for soul-care.  Grateful for a few minutes of rest.  And I wanted to capture it.

1 comment:

lauren maleski said...

Beautiful. I have found myself lately, after throwing all the books out too, why I didn't take the time to savor each and every sleepy moment. I do now. And they are my favorite.
It is nuts how fast they grow and move on while we are the ones clinging to the days of old.
love you.