Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Letting go...

Tomorrow is the first day of school.  THE first day of school for us...EVER (excluding preschool).  Boo.  And yay!  The past 48 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions.  Mostly denial.  Haven't I been planning for this all summer?  And now that it is the day before why do I all of the sudden feel so unprepared and panicked???
Sweet TB.  As I tucked her in to bed tonight I had an overwhelming urge to crawl in with her and hold her all night.  Perhaps I'm being a bit melodramatic, but I don't think this transition is just redefining her...it's redefining me!  It's been just us for 6 years now.  She has been my one constant.  Consistently kind.  Consistently compassionate.  Consistently free-spirited.  Consistently goofy.  Consistently stopping to pet every single dog of which we have come within 50 ft.

Consistently there.

My best friend (go Lolo!) is in labor with her first babe at this very moment.  As I reminded her this afternoon, once they come out, you can't put them back.  She is preparing to let go of her life as she has known it.  And to experience joy and life in a way she could never dream possible.

It got me thinking of my "laboring" over the past 6 years with my first.  How did we get so far so fast?  From diapers and "re-re's" to riding bikes and learning to read.  We've traveled a lot of miles.  I've let go of a lot of myself.  And I'm a better woman because of it.  We've come through a lot of rough patches.  But we really know each other.  And isn't it so good to be known? 

So I'm letting go of a season.  With sadness.  But with hope.  Because I know she has a Father who cares more for her than I could ever dream.


Kitty Brown said...

Happy first day, sweet TB. Can't wait to hear how wonderful it was!!!

Lisa said...

Just catching up on your blog, friend. What lovely pictures and beautiful reflections. Savored the post of our strawberry adventure. So, so, so grateful to have you "back".


The Shulls said...

Way to go, TB!!! so proud of her and you sweet mama!!