Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Moving in...and figuring things out
Downsizing can be like playing a game of tetris...where, oh, where will it go? Why do we have so much stuff? I seriously think we purged all the stuffed animals at least 5 times before we moved, and still they are threatening to take over the place!
In order to cram both kids (and the ungodly amount of stuffed animals they, meaning "she", own) into the same room, we upgraded to a bunk bed. And, ahhhhh...it fits. They fit.
Life in general feels a bit like a game of tetris during these transitional days. Where does it all fit in?
When I first started the blog I had more ideas for posts than I could keep crammed in my head. And I was diligent to edit and post pictures to illustrate our life. But since the kids got here I just can't seem to get it all in.
The amount of energy life currently requires of me feels inhuman on the best day. On the harder days I just feel like giving up. It's a sinuous dance...fighting the undercurrent threatening to pull me under where I can just quit, and then the will to push on for my kids, for the good of it, because I'm just not a quitter. But where is the joy?
That is the challenge.
I think I am ok with not getting it all in. But if I am going to put forth all the effort, I want it to be worth something. Not just for the sake of doing it. But for the sake of...what? Joy? My tendency is duty. Duty is so dry and lifeless without the joy. So give me the joy!
Lord, please multiply this meager bread and fish I have to offer. It is a humble gift indeed. But you do miracles with humble gifts.
And this, along with some major computer issues and my renewed committment to get more sleep (which I am currently reneging) is why I have not posted more and more often. I am giving myself grace. Laundry is important, you know! And sleep, too.