35-36/365...Mom's Hands

We recently had the pleasure of a visit from Nana and Popaw.  Nana wasted no time trying out our new piano.

I just kept thinking to myself, "It is so right to have my Mom in my house filling it with music."

I grew up in a house filled with the music of her fingers.  Went to bed some nights to the comforting sound of her practicing.  Her music embedded itself into my heart and is still playing today.  It gets in you, music.  It soothes, motivates, cultivates.

That music represents the legacy she passed to me.  The roots that take me back to the

 safe place we called home.  And the wings that are the soundtrack to the soaring.

Now my monkeys, the next generation, benefit from that legacy.  It is a special day, this Mother's Day, to be a mother to daughters and a daughter to my mother.  I am especially grateful today for her beautiful hands and lasting legacy.

34/365...A Dozen Years

I pray my own daughters might be so blessed.  Partnered with a man who not only SEES them...but DELIGHTS in what he sees.  That is what makes a young budding woman blossom into the beautiful flower she was created to be in time.  That is the echo of a creator who creates...and delights in his creation.  He looked...and saw it was good.

He looked...he sees the parts I would prefer to keep hidden from the rest of the world.  He knows my tendancy to withdraw in fear of failure.  How I slump my shoulders when insecurity grips subtle and hard.  That beneath the perceived confidence and strength is an approval junky, a recovering pharisee.  He has seen me lose my cool in a good old fashioned come apart with the monkeys.  How good intentions mean nothing when they don't see/hear/feel love.  He has seen me step up to the edge of opportunity, rare back ready to pounce...only to retreat in fear and denial time and time again.  He never really bought my excuses.  But he never made me feel like a dumb scaredy-cat, either.

...and he saw it was good...when he sees the parts I would rather no one else see, he delights.  He sees good.  He sees value and worth and beauty.  He pushes me to use my talents, my gifts AND makes the path straight for me to do so.  He sees a girl who still has a hard time remembering grace.  A woman miraculously redeemed, forgiven, set free.  He sees freedom.  He sees it when I cannot.  He believes it when I do not.

It is a beautiful thing to be loved by another broken, fallen, redeemed human being.  A beautiful gift indeed.  Here's to a dozen more!

34/365...Monkey in a Tree

 We had to have our beloved Maple thinned and trimmed this weekend.  This monkey watched the arborist (did you know that is what a tree specialist is called?  learn something new every day!) from the front steps for an hour.  His comment?

"Somebody needs to give him climbing lessons."

Spoken like a true monkey.

27-33/365...Happy Birthday, TBird!

We are entering into birthday season at our house.  The first to celebrate is our one and only Queen Monkey herself.  How could eight years pass so slowly and speed by in the blink of an eye?

This girl started it all for me.  There is no way in a thousand years I could have guessed that mothering would be the impetuous to my self-understanding.  But mothering you, my dear, has made me needy, dependent, strong, and brave!  

It is so fun to watch the creativity of this big idea girl blossom as she plans parties, science projects, and birthday gifts for friends. 

She was determined that her birthday party would be a scavenger hunt...but not just any scavenger hunt.  One with stuffed animals.  Because she loves stuffed animals.  Each friend had one hidden with clues to lead her to find it.  

She was also determined to have puppy cupcakes.  Because she loves puppies.  Thank you, google.

It is a beautiful, scary thing to watch the fruit of your young, inexperienced womb grow into a real live person...with dreams, and opinions, and preferences often different from your own.  With gifts and talents and personality...often different from your own.  What a gift it is to be your Mom, Queen Monkey!  It is all grace, my dear.  All grace.  

26/365...April Showers?

 

Could it be true that April snow showers bring May flowers?  

Bring on the flowers, May!  Bring it on!

25/365...Goggles

Somebody's getting ready for summer...and swimming pools...and goggles!

I'd be happy with 50 degrees!

24/365...Exodus

So much energy and thought goes into preparing our hearts, minds, and families for Easter.  Good energy.  But last night as I prepared myself for a week of meal plans, carpooling, dentist appointments and the like, I began asking myself...

"What now?"

What does it all mean?  For the next 364 days of the year, what is the celebration all about?  What literal intention is there for me at 6:45 am as I dress myself for another day?

I have been studying Exodus this semester.  Last week, on one of the monkeys' days off I had them storyboard with me the story of the Israelites cornered at the Red Sea, Pharoah and all his chariots in hot pursuit.  

 The Israelites naturally freaked.  Who wouldn't?  And then this beautiful verse, spoken by Moses...

"The Lord will fight for you, you have only to be silent."

While we were talking about the story, the male monkey drew a picture of Jesus in the boat with the disciples calming the storm.  ( I should add that the boat also had a plank...for walking, I suppose.)  On the back he wrote, "Thank you that you fight in my place."

Leave it to a 5 year old to connect the dots.  

There was a whole lot of fear going around after the death of the Christ.  And what were his first words to his friends when he first appeared to them after the resurrection?  "Peace be with you."  No more fear.  He's here.  Perfect love is here, and all fear is cast out!

So, what now?
Peace.  Cease striving.  Rest, daily, in the FINISHED work.
Awareness.  He is a covenant-keeping God who will never turn His face from me.  He will always be on my side.  Will always fight my battles.
Consistency.  Making faith a habit, a continual one.  I cannot fear AND believe.