Just 'Cause

Just a little sass to get your week started with a smile!

Just 'cause.  Cause I think she's pretty cute.

Adjusting

We, along with all of my other Facebook friends, started school this past week.  I think Momma is having a harder time adjusting to the new routine than anyone else!

I've been quiet on the blogosphere of late.  I think I've been waiting for a really profound thought that I just must share with the rest of the world.  Momma's brain ain't workin' that way right now.  I am just hoping to remember my 7am dentist appointment in the morning.  (I already missed it twice!)  So many details for a person not so good with details!

My blogging silence, however, does not mean that the wheels have not been turning.  We celebrated our first year back in the frozen tundra over the summer.  That particular anniversary was cause for much reflection.  We spent three whole weeks down south with friends and family!  Again, much reflection.  I just haven't had the words.  But now I am afraid if I don't attempt to find those words they will be forgotten.  And I don't want that.  

So...I will just start talking.  And reflecting.  And today, in this week of crazy commuting and carpooling, I will highlight one very simple, but special act.  One that has been consistent every single afternoon.  And one that has brought much joy to all parties in participation.

Go Fish!

Monkey #2 of the male type started Kindergarten this year.  I am so thrilled that our school offers a half-day option for Kindergartners because that means I get to do...

this!

It is the one hour of my day that I have pause to sit, look at that sweet, knowing face...and smile.  And take it all in.  The time that is passing so quickly in the midst of these slow days.  The people that are becoming right before my very eyes.

I have this one line from "The Scientist" by Coldplay in my head...

"Nobody said it was easy.  Nobody said it would be so hard."  These people they are becoming have opinions and emotions and preferences.  And it is beautiful.  But it is not easy.  And today...he still wants to play with me.  And today I get to.

My favorite..."Mommy.  Do you have a 'I do not like them Sam I Am, I do not like green eggs and ham?'"

And tonight he asked me to put him to bed (I lose out to Daddy 9 times out of 10).  For the moment I am aware of the shifting sand I hold in my hands.  And I am treasuring it.  Because I know I will forget.  

But today I am grateful for the grace to have eyes to see and know.

I love you anyway, too.

We are big fans of Olivia the Pig at our house.

 My favorite line in an Olivia book comes as Olivia's mom is putting her to bed, haggling over how many books they will read that particular night.  "Olivia's mother gives her a kiss and says, 'You know, you really wear me out.  But I love you anyway.'"

 "And Olivia gives her a kiss back and says, 'I love you anyway too.'"

 I'll be real honest, here.  This monkey wears me out.

 But one look at these pictures, at her vivid lust for life and all things happy and bright reminds me...

I love her anyway.  And she loves me anyway, too.

Courage!

What a difference a year makes!

It is birthday/anniversary season at our house.  Taylor Beth recently celebrated a 7th milestone.  Birthdays always invite reflection for me.  

Courage!  It's the one word that comes to mind when I think of the life you've lived this year, my dear.  I must stand by and watch as you determine who you are and who you want to be.  It is no easy task for a 6 year old.  It takes courage.  So, in the words of the Cowardly Lion...

"Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? 

Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? 

Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? 

What makes the muskrat guard his musk? 

 Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? 

Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? 

 

Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot?

Courage!"

I have not always lived my life courageously.  I have passed on opportunities for lack of it.  But being your Mama has made me brave.  

Strengthened my faith.

Taken me to the end of me.

Brought clarity to what really matters

Who I am and who I want to be.

Thank you for the gift of courage.  You are a gift.  We are grateful for you.

Leaning into Light and Life

Life lessons from tender seedlings...

An Understanding Mother

They always say it.  And it it is always nearly impossible to comprehend until you, too, are in its midst.  

"You never really appreciate your mother until you are one."

But its true.  And every day I am reminded by my own blessed monkeys what a gift it is to have your mothering always before me.  You loved us so well!  Still do.  

I don't always love my children well.  Maybe you didn't always, either.  But you did enough of the time for me to feel loved, accepted, safe even well into my adulthood.  

The monkeys and I have been reading through The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf.  Ferdinand's mother worried that Ferdinand might be lonely if he only ever sat "just quietly and smell{ed} the flowers" instead of running and jumping and butting heads like the other bulls.  

"His mother saw that he was not lonesome, and because she was an understanding mother, even though she was a cow, she let him just sit there and be happy."

You saw me.  You saw that I was ok.  Awkward, maybe.  Not always like the other kids.  But you, in your understanding way, let me sit.  And I was happy.  

Nature walks, Pony Boy rides, your hands, grocery store trips, hours in the kitchen, your nasty mustard yellow mixer, and a three-fingered "Praise the Lord".  You provided the space, the safe haven for me to find the courage to be me...the faith foundation to at least start figuring out who "me" is.  

And now I have the privilege of watching it cycle back through, on the outside, looking in.  My kids have no idea how blessed they are.  

I love you, Mom.  I am so grateful for your legacy.  So proud of my heritage.  It is a very happy Mother's Day, indeed.

Happy Mama's Day, Mama Cheryl!

There is a Chinese proverb that states, "Women hold up half the sky."

This woman has held up her fair share.

I have never met another human being with matched energy and vibrance.

Thank you for raising a son who honors and values the women in his life.

My monkeys adore you.  They are blessed to have you, as are we all.  Thank you for loving us so completely.  For never stopping, never giving up, always pushing on.  Always with a smile on your face. 

You have loved me generously, served me endlessly and selflessly, and shown me what hard work and commitment really look like.  I am truly grateful for you!