Courage!

What a difference a year makes!

It is birthday/anniversary season at our house.  Taylor Beth recently celebrated a 7th milestone.  Birthdays always invite reflection for me.  

Courage!  It's the one word that comes to mind when I think of the life you've lived this year, my dear.  I must stand by and watch as you determine who you are and who you want to be.  It is no easy task for a 6 year old.  It takes courage.  So, in the words of the Cowardly Lion...

"Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? 

Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? 

Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? 

What makes the muskrat guard his musk? 

 Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? 

Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? 

 

Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot?

Courage!"

I have not always lived my life courageously.  I have passed on opportunities for lack of it.  But being your Mama has made me brave.  

Strengthened my faith.

Taken me to the end of me.

Brought clarity to what really matters

Who I am and who I want to be.

Thank you for the gift of courage.  You are a gift.  We are grateful for you.

Leaning into Light and Life

Life lessons from tender seedlings...

An Understanding Mother

They always say it.  And it it is always nearly impossible to comprehend until you, too, are in its midst.  

"You never really appreciate your mother until you are one."

But its true.  And every day I am reminded by my own blessed monkeys what a gift it is to have your mothering always before me.  You loved us so well!  Still do.  

I don't always love my children well.  Maybe you didn't always, either.  But you did enough of the time for me to feel loved, accepted, safe even well into my adulthood.  

The monkeys and I have been reading through The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf.  Ferdinand's mother worried that Ferdinand might be lonely if he only ever sat "just quietly and smell{ed} the flowers" instead of running and jumping and butting heads like the other bulls.  

"His mother saw that he was not lonesome, and because she was an understanding mother, even though she was a cow, she let him just sit there and be happy."

You saw me.  You saw that I was ok.  Awkward, maybe.  Not always like the other kids.  But you, in your understanding way, let me sit.  And I was happy.  

Nature walks, Pony Boy rides, your hands, grocery store trips, hours in the kitchen, your nasty mustard yellow mixer, and a three-fingered "Praise the Lord".  You provided the space, the safe haven for me to find the courage to be me...the faith foundation to at least start figuring out who "me" is.  

And now I have the privilege of watching it cycle back through, on the outside, looking in.  My kids have no idea how blessed they are.  

I love you, Mom.  I am so grateful for your legacy.  So proud of my heritage.  It is a very happy Mother's Day, indeed.

Happy Mama's Day, Mama Cheryl!

There is a Chinese proverb that states, "Women hold up half the sky."

This woman has held up her fair share.

I have never met another human being with matched energy and vibrance.

Thank you for raising a son who honors and values the women in his life.

My monkeys adore you.  They are blessed to have you, as are we all.  Thank you for loving us so completely.  For never stopping, never giving up, always pushing on.  Always with a smile on your face. 

You have loved me generously, served me endlessly and selflessly, and shown me what hard work and commitment really look like.  I am truly grateful for you!

December

This is how December should be...

And finally...Happy Birthday Part 3

And a cool coincidence with Thanksgiving...(only I forgot to post it until today)...

31.  I am thankful for airplanes and skype.  Good to see the faces of friends and family and know that they are only a plane-ride away.

32.  I am thankful for grandparents who love us, and our children, with lots of energy, lots of time, and lots of themselves.  And a mom who talked to me about the 3-finger approach of "Praise the Lord" that I secretly rolled my eyes at, but that set the tone for my own journey of gratitude.  It made the vocabulary not so foreign to me.  Thanks, Mom.

33.  I am thankful for the opportunity to sit on a couch in Melbourne, FL on a lazy Sunday afternoon with a book while watching the restless sleep of my new-mom best friend, kindred spirit, or in the words of Anne of Green Gables, bosom buddy.  What a gift just to be in the same room with her!

34.   I am thankful for kids who work hard raking leaves.  $1 a bag with no help from Mom or Dad.  That would be 10 bags.  That would mean Dad is out 10 bucks.

35.  I am thankful for the little street urchins we call neighbors...the gang of 4th Ave.  I love watching this array of kids playing in our yard.  I love their persistence and their acceptance.  

 

36.  No, I'm not 36.  But I just couldn't stop.  I am thankful for the gift of grace.  And mercy.  In the words of Voskamp, "The art of deep seeing makes gratitude possible. And it’s the art of gratitude that makes joy possible. Isn’t joy the art of God?"  But I am finding, as I am seeing more deeply and practicing the art of gratitude, that I fail as often as not. I can in a split second recognize something to be grateful for and then give into the urge to feel stress, frustration, overwhelmed.  I turn on the precious ones in my way, or withdraw in self-comsumption from my dear husband.  

But... there is grace.  And mercy.  And its new every morning.  I am flawed.  But I am grateful for that, too.  It is a constant reminder to look outside of myself.  To the only one who did it perfectly, knows me fully, and loves me deeply still.

Happy Birthday, Part 3

And on we go...

21.  I'm thankful for fairies dancing in my back yard, kung fu fighters, and fireworks.  Independence Day with friends was a good reminder that we do have friends here.  And community will come with time.

22.  I'm thankful for the resilience of a 4 year old.  A broken arm on his birthday, a move across the country away from friends and grandparents, and food allergies, asthma, chiropractors, naturopaths, voo-doo trial and error...this kid has been through the ringer this year.  But he has been so tough, so brave, so...resilient.  I am grateful.

23.  I'm thankful for water-proof casts.

24.  I'm thankful for good books.  Poisonwood, Narnia, Hunger Games, Piggie and Elephant, Pigeon, Knuffle Bunny, Madeleine, Jesus Storybook Bible...some for sharing, some for retreating, all for savoring.

25.  I'm thankful for 305 West Glenwood.  A lot of good life lived.

26.  I'm thankful for 3 good years spent within driving distance of family.  We cherish those years of convenient relationship.

27.  I'm thankful for local farmers.  Farmer Terry of Oneonta, AL was our first.  Mr. Paul of Rochester, MN is our current.  I love that I know and shake hands with the men who labor daily to feed and care for the animals that are our sustenance.  I love that Taylor Beth jumps hay bales with the little girl who gathers our eggs.  Beautiful circle of life.

28.  I'm thankful for gingko trees in AL and Maples in MN, both lit up on fire in autumn sun.

29.  I'm thankful for the "hard" of transition, for it forces me back, deeper still, to stand on the rock.  It takes me to the end of myself.  And reminds me to be thankful.  Reminds me of grace and mercy.  And joy.

30.  I'm thankful for full nights of sleep.  Uninterrupted.  Except for the occasional nightmare.  Or sickness.  Or need for nearness.  For that I am thankful for rocking chairs and the pallet by my bed.