21/30...United!

Tonight was our last soccer game.  We have loved our little engine-that-could team that turned out to be some pretty fine soccer players 5 seasons later.  

This guy was on fire tonight! 

We have been playing with several of the same families since we moved to the frozen tundra 3 years ago.  To say the least, it has been a highlight for our family. 

 I can't take credit for this one.  The baby monkey had a turn with the camera.  Coach looks pretty intense.  This is not just child's play.

 Oh, wait.  Maybe it is.  And this picture will forever be burned in my memory because this is where baby monkey prefers to view the game.  Until coach gets tired and shoos her to the sidelines. 

 It's been a joy.  

20/30...St. Paul Farmer's Market

More MN lasts...

The St. Paul Farmers Market has been a Sunday morning tradition for a couple years now.  This morning was our last trip. 

I love the farmers and fresh produce and pasture raised meat.  For the rest the highlight is the hotdogs.  Romocky's Brats and Dogs is the best.  Anyone who gives chocolate money with change must be a winner.

18/30...MN Lasts...Great River Water Park

You just cannot truly appreciate the humid, chlorine-scented air of an indoor waterpark until you have lived through the most intense winter nature can muster.  

If you close your eyes, you cannot almost make yourself believe it is summer.  We are now living the days we all here in Minnesota dreamed of just months ago.  

 This one won't even wear a swimsuit without a skirt.  Priss.  

17/30...More Lasts...Walker Art Sculpture Garden

I will be completely honest.  I don't have a clue what this sculpture even means, and for sure I don't know what in the world it has to do with Minneapolis.  Someone please enlighten me.  But it is iconic.  It screams Minneapolis.  And I wanted to see it one more time before we leave.  Even better to see it with friends.  I mean I do love cherries.  And spoons.  Who doesn't?  

15/30...Indian Food

Onions and garlic and ginger...cumin and coriander and cardamom.  Can you smell it?

One of the things I will miss most from our time here are these combined scents wafting from the McCowen kitchen.  We had an Indian cooking day.  One of many perks to having friends who have lived in India and learned from Indian cooks.

She has a whole shelf just for her Indian spices.  It is a beautiful thing.  Pretty enough for a picture.  Or two.  

We have solved many a world problem over this stove, processed numerous books, laughed to avoid crying, and oh the parenting we have shared.  And wine.  Shared a good bit of that, too.  Perks to having friends who are wine snobs.  

14/30...Big Girls on a Big Day

We went for ice cream to celebrate the end (or survival) of another year of school.  

Nine year olds are like teenagers stuck in childish bodies.  These big girls sat at the big table all by themselves and talked of big girl things.  And ate ice cream.  Because nobody is too big for ice cream.

10/30...Harvest

Little Monkey and I had our first harvest today!  

Three Mother's Days ago my gift was a square foot garden.  Every Mother's Day since we have planted or added to that garden.  This past Mother's Day the hubs was out of town so the kids and visited the St. Paul Farmer's Market and I let them each pick one tomato plant and then I filled out one of our 4 gardens with spring crops...carrots, chard, lettuces, some herbs and kale.  I think there is some significant symbolism in celebrating the beauty and pain and growth and suffering of motherhood by the planting of another years crop.

One of the kids favorite garden chores is pulling the carrots.  Yes, we are moving.  But I just couldn't let a planting season pass and not participate in some small way.  I have visions of us road tripping with our three tomato plants and one old dog in tow.  The Clampetts to be sure.  

8/30...Yahtzee!

We get the question alot..."How do you survive the winters in the Frozen Tundra?"

Our answer..."Lots of Yahtzee!"

I mean nightly games.  The baby monkey is everyone's secret weapon.  She doesn't know what she is doing, but, I swear, that child has rolled more Yahtzees than any of the rest of us combined!  She now yells, "Six!" every time she rolls anything.

We found this fancy set on our recent thrifting adventure for a whopping $1.99.  We were all pretty pumped.  No, it's not winter.  Maybe its because I have been reflecting alot lately on our time in Minnesota, but watching the kids play a round reminded me of fun family times by the fire when the sun went down before we even got home from school.

I have been processing over the past few days how to leave well.  We have left several times from several places.  We are both pretty good starters, but neither of us great finishers.  I really want to leave well.  I feel confident and hopeful in the next phase of our journey.  But entering into it full and ready means leaving the old one well.

We've had a few people ask us if we'd like to have a going away party.  The extrovert in me wants to say yes.  But the idea feels a bit overwhelming.  It feels final.  How do you wrap up three plus years of relationships with a party?  But isn't that better than just packing the car and taking off (we've done that before, not kidding).

I have no answers.  Just questions and thoughts.  I would love to hear yours if you have any secret wisdom to leaving well.  Bring it on.

6-7/30...Number Three Birthday Party Down

I took photos yesterday...and forgot to post them.  (Too busy folding the MOUNTAIN of laundry that has been accruing.)

Not that you can always plan these things, but I was not aware of how much extra stress would be added to life when giving birth to three children in consecutive months.  So by birthday party #3, I am so happy to let someone else plan.  This is what happens when you take nine seven year old boys to a climbing gym...

And this is what happens when said seven year old gets face paint as a birthday gift and his sisters get a hold of it post party...

Lovely.

ps...Remnants of that paint still remain after multiple scrub sessions.  Washable paint my butt. 

5/30: Perks

The perks of living with chickens.

Oh, yeah.  We have chickens.  Three hilarious, stupid, pooping chickens.  But, man, they give us good eggs!

1/30: The Boy Monkey is 7...and More Big News!

So the big news on the Knight front...

We are moving...again.  We close on our house here in MN June 30 and take off from there on our next adventure in Danville, KY.  Crazy, right?  More on that in another post.  But because we are entering into our last month in the Frozen Tundra and I have been trying to eek out the energy to reflect on our time here, I thought it fitting to take on a 30 day photo click-a-day challenge for the month of June.  And how fitting that the first day of the challenge, and therefore my intentional reflection, lands on the boy monkey's seventh birthday!

This kid has seen adventure with us.  He is our more introverted monkey.  On observing the steady rain outside upon waking this morning (he is also our early bird), he comments, "Mom, I think we are going to have to fix the gutters."  Steady, practical, logical, detailed.  I think we pretty much wear him out.  

Change is not his favorite thing, and we have alot of that coming our way in the coming weeks.  But he is strong.  And loyal to a fault.  

This year was his first year of full day school.  And he rocked it.  And lost a mouthful of teeth in the process.  He loves baseball and soccer and his Daddy.  I love how he loves his Daddy.  

I'm not so sure they quite get it, but he is perhaps the best big brother (technically, he is younger than the eldest monkey, but he passed her by 1 inch this year so from here to forevermore he will be "big" brother) 2 gals could hope for.  Most of the time.  

I have been pondering this year the effect a son can have on a Momma.  It is different this Mother/son dynamic.  I feel more vulnerable to heartbreak with this boy.  But also so very proud and loved when he throws those long, skinny, double-jointed arms around me impromptu.  

This boy.  

Has this Momma's heart.  

So glad to have you by my side as we enter into our next big adventure.  

The Mom Dance

She takes Little Monkey to gymnastics.  Her Little Monkey comes home with us from music class.  We meet to run, we meet to eat, we meet to make it in this crazy season of life.

We weathered the acid reflux years together, all screaming babies, dancing toddlers and not nearly enough sleep.  The soundtrack of our lives then...The Jackson Five and Wee Sing and Pretend.  The soundtrack now...Annie, The Sound of Music and "Poop on the Potty".  We survived the witching hour with tricycles and muddy puddles of melting snow waiting for daddies to come home.  Now...Legos, dress ups and a pot of chai.

We potty trained not just one set of toddlers together, but two (who ever said positive peer pressure isn't effective?).  We pray together, run together, process this crazy life that is made up of so many kids but also so many dreams and gifts and talents that we long to utilize.  I have cheered her on as she has so bravely entered back into the working world (where you get paid).  She has cheered me on as I have tentatively but steadily stepped back onto the stage (where you don't get paid).  We share good books, good music, and great food and wine!

In her words, it is a dance.  The Mom Dance.  It has been my sanity, a source of life and joy and grace. She picks up my big monkeys from school so I can stay home with a sick baby monkey.  I bring her soup when she is crazy mad packing for 10 days out of the country.  It makes life work.  It makes the crazy manageable.

She kept the babe for me so I could simply go sit at my favorite coffee shop and regroup.  

This beauty is more than a pretty swirly froth...it represents the grace of community, the gratitude of a quiet moment to treasure.  Isn't it a beauty?

Lisa McCowen, it is such a joy to dance with you (Zumba, anyone?)!  

My encouragement to the rest of you...find a dance partner to do this crazy life with.  We girls need each other.  It doesn't take away the crazy, but it makes it a lot more fun!

PS...Props to the best little coffee shop east of the Mississippi, Quixotic Coffee!  These peeps are crazy about coffee.  And they can make a mean latte with almond milk.  Heaven in a coffee cup.

Survival Mode

What happens when Momma is laid up in bed with a stomach bug?

Little Einsteins in a blanket fort...and Daniel Tiger, and Wild Kratts, and Super Why...

Tea Time

Oh my goodness gracious.  I knew it had been a long time.  But since July?  Seriously?  I listened to this quote by Ira Glass the other day.  

"...the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions." 

I have been talking (in my head, of course) of recommitting to the blog, to the photojournalistic story of my life since before the first of the year.  And good intentions turn into laundry...and a sick kid...and a rehearsal...and exhaustion.  

"You’ve just gotta fight your way through."

So here goes the fight.

 We've been doing a lot of this lately.  A whole heck of a lot.

 Honest confession...I don't really love tea parties.  But I love watching this baby monkey in her element.  And this baby loves her some tea party.

If I'm lucky, the party just might include live music.  She is a singer-songwriter.  I mentioned that, right?

 I have felt a certain restlessness these last couple of years.  She's the baby.  It's my third time doing this age.  I am watching alot of my friends go back to work.  I am fighting to be in every moment of this stage.  But also beginning to think towards the future.  I know that these days are fleeting and we will never get them back.  It helps me to chronicle the daily, beautiful monotony.  It reminds me how beautiful it is.  And makes me grateful.

 There are so many beautiful moments.

38/365...First fruits

Every time I plant a new seed, every time I gently pat in fresh soil on a young seedling, in my head I am hearing, "This is not going to work.  Its not going to work.  All this work will be for naught."

And then the first fruits...it's like Christmas morning!  Every. Single. Time.

And then my first fruit.  Again, always surprising me with lovely fruit from all that labor. 

37/365...The Best Song

Baby Monkey is three.  And potty trained.  (Woot woot!)  As I was thinking on an appropriate post in honor of her third birthday, the following song by Bethany Dillon came on my Pandora station.  Couldn't think of anything more appropriate.  

You're The Best Song

Good morning

You and the sun are up before I'm ready

But ready or not, you need me

So here I am

I'm learning that in the long hard days

There is beauty

Do you know my favorite place to see it

It's when I look at you

And though I'm tired now

You're worth every sleepless night

You're worth it all, cause I know...

You're the best song I'll ever write

And we're humming and dancing through the years together

You're the best song I'll ever write

And I pray you'll hear Jesus in it when you're older

I remember when you were just a heartbeat that I heard

and now our eyes meet

Forever is not enough to love you

Ooohhh...

Every prayer for you is like a seed in the ground

Every tear I cry is like rain

And in its due season

I pray a harvest will be found

Your heart and mouth confessing Jesus' name

Your heart and mouth confessing Jesus' name 

35-36/365...Mom's Hands

We recently had the pleasure of a visit from Nana and Popaw.  Nana wasted no time trying out our new piano.

I just kept thinking to myself, "It is so right to have my Mom in my house filling it with music."

I grew up in a house filled with the music of her fingers.  Went to bed some nights to the comforting sound of her practicing.  Her music embedded itself into my heart and is still playing today.  It gets in you, music.  It soothes, motivates, cultivates.

That music represents the legacy she passed to me.  The roots that take me back to the

 safe place we called home.  And the wings that are the soundtrack to the soaring.

Now my monkeys, the next generation, benefit from that legacy.  It is a special day, this Mother's Day, to be a mother to daughters and a daughter to my mother.  I am especially grateful today for her beautiful hands and lasting legacy.

34/365...A Dozen Years

I pray my own daughters might be so blessed.  Partnered with a man who not only SEES them...but DELIGHTS in what he sees.  That is what makes a young budding woman blossom into the beautiful flower she was created to be in time.  That is the echo of a creator who creates...and delights in his creation.  He looked...and saw it was good.

He looked...he sees the parts I would prefer to keep hidden from the rest of the world.  He knows my tendancy to withdraw in fear of failure.  How I slump my shoulders when insecurity grips subtle and hard.  That beneath the perceived confidence and strength is an approval junky, a recovering pharisee.  He has seen me lose my cool in a good old fashioned come apart with the monkeys.  How good intentions mean nothing when they don't see/hear/feel love.  He has seen me step up to the edge of opportunity, rare back ready to pounce...only to retreat in fear and denial time and time again.  He never really bought my excuses.  But he never made me feel like a dumb scaredy-cat, either.

...and he saw it was good...when he sees the parts I would rather no one else see, he delights.  He sees good.  He sees value and worth and beauty.  He pushes me to use my talents, my gifts AND makes the path straight for me to do so.  He sees a girl who still has a hard time remembering grace.  A woman miraculously redeemed, forgiven, set free.  He sees freedom.  He sees it when I cannot.  He believes it when I do not.

It is a beautiful thing to be loved by another broken, fallen, redeemed human being.  A beautiful gift indeed.  Here's to a dozen more!

34/365...Monkey in a Tree

 We had to have our beloved Maple thinned and trimmed this weekend.  This monkey watched the arborist (did you know that is what a tree specialist is called?  learn something new every day!) from the front steps for an hour.  His comment?

"Somebody needs to give him climbing lessons."

Spoken like a true monkey.

27-33/365...Happy Birthday, TBird!

We are entering into birthday season at our house.  The first to celebrate is our one and only Queen Monkey herself.  How could eight years pass so slowly and speed by in the blink of an eye?

This girl started it all for me.  There is no way in a thousand years I could have guessed that mothering would be the impetuous to my self-understanding.  But mothering you, my dear, has made me needy, dependent, strong, and brave!  

It is so fun to watch the creativity of this big idea girl blossom as she plans parties, science projects, and birthday gifts for friends. 

She was determined that her birthday party would be a scavenger hunt...but not just any scavenger hunt.  One with stuffed animals.  Because she loves stuffed animals.  Each friend had one hidden with clues to lead her to find it.  

She was also determined to have puppy cupcakes.  Because she loves puppies.  Thank you, google.

It is a beautiful, scary thing to watch the fruit of your young, inexperienced womb grow into a real live person...with dreams, and opinions, and preferences often different from your own.  With gifts and talents and personality...often different from your own.  What a gift it is to be your Mom, Queen Monkey!  It is all grace, my dear.  All grace.